Untangled

Being responsible for others is one of many unique characteristics of human that set us apart from animals which only follow their instinct. However, being human is costly precisely because of our superiority. If one grows up without responsibility, one would not be quite proud of being a life worth living in a society. The weight of responsibility falls upon us without yielding, and it's especially so in modern society where our survival depends on how we act upon others.

As a recent grown-up, responsibilities and expectation that fall upon me are by no mean taken as a surprise. However I feel gradual debilitation of young spirit in me - a free and forever inquiring mind which wanders without boundary. As a responsible being, every move of mine must be calculated and planned. I must fulfill other's expectation and thrive to satisfy myself at the same time. Omission of an action is not an option anymore. Freedom and purity of mind are marginalised by thing so called maturity.

And yet there is a beauty in such a havoc. Considering an evolution; a flow of current that climbs up one and only way, our lives as a human were deemed to the change of forms. A metamorphosis if one might say. From this perspective it is absolutely natural for one to grow up and bear responsibility. It is perfectly right because that's a natural flow that allows us to preside as a superior being. As an encouragement to myself and others, the view that bearing responsibility is undesirable should be reevaluated. What's the point about lamenting to things we never will recover, and things that's already a prime manifestation of humankind which all of us should be proud of.

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Today is my birthday, and it is for contemplation much rather than celebration.

On each birthday, I mostly ask myself the same question: what do I want from living? For me, just a decent dwelling, living with loved on, having decent life quality (food, air, access to information...), having intellectual exercise (reading, discussion)  and doing works that at least benefit someone somewhere, posing net benefit to the world.

With these criteria, I will probably achieve all within 5 years. The problem is afterwards - what's the reason for my being? What's left to do?

I still don't have a clear idea, but for now, achieving those goals is the priority.

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(CC photo by flickr.com/photos/jeffersonsiow/3316148838)

My girlfriend just bought a Lenovo S10 netbook after someone she knows bought her old Lenovo laptop for her son.

Actually we have thought about getting a netbook for a while, but the thing that held back buying decision was tiny screen and keyboard size. We tried many netbooks at stores and felt quite hesitant.

However the situation brought us to the decision to get one, and Lenovo S10 with its 10-inch screen and solid build easily exceed other brands' appeal. After a while I don't think the screen and keyboard size have much detrimental effect on usability and functionality if you do ordinary, simple tasks with it like web browsing, blogging, networking, word processing, and even photo management. It can become a bit frustrating if you edit photos or doing CPU intensive job such as applying Illustrator's effect.

Even with it's drawback, my point is that netbook is suitable for many people. Once we bought it we don't really think about the money just spent, because it's relatively cheap - about half the price of standard, solid notebook like ThinkPad. For students or people in developing countries who just afford to get their first computer, netbook is the best thing they can get for the money. This reminds me of now-defuncted OLPC program that Thai government once almost supported. I saw many example of how students in rural area could not afford to buy a computer which is necessary for them to properly learn from outside and develop computing and internet skills which are getting more crucial in today's economy. With proper support from concerned agencies and government, bringing cheap computing equipment like netbooks to needed students should ease the digital gaps between those in the cities and those who still lack economically.

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Yesterday an editor of Prachatai.com, an independent, pro-democracy, online news website, was held by the police with warrant. She was released on bail after 5 hours. Her personal computer was confiscated and hard drive copied for investigation.

The police said Prachatai.com violated one section of the recently enacted Computer Crime Act, by allowing lese majeste content on the public webboard. Such content is deemed as a problem to national security. The provision includes jail and fine term.

The police did not and could not produce the portion of webboard posting in question, and had not issue warning message a they normally would. It's understandable that there must be someone behind this.

I won't further give commentary on this specific issue due to the Law. Only thing I can say is that I am so sorry for Thai society and it's political system that has always clinged on and made use of public sentiment on untouchable subject. Lese Majeste law has always been abused by politicians and non-politicians, to destroy your opponent. Swift interrogation and severe punishment are deemed "appropriate" by the public because of historic makings and reverence to the Institute. However few of them really know what's actually going on and almost always choose to trust the plaintiff, seeing him/her/them as being altruistic.

When there's an incident such as this, I think of the word "draconian". I also think of certain political regime such as Nazicism where public sentiments are carefully tailored made and cleverly used by political institute. People are massively tricked so they ignore some underlying justice and principles for the sake of inventive norms like good "moral" or the praise of "national hero". They are made to be partially blinded and partially unconscious without their knowing. This still holds true to Thai society and it's crippled political system and cultural makings.

Thailand is still not a free and open society.

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I decide today to change my sleeping time.

After high school, I had time flexibility and indulged myself into it. The result was the unusual sleeping pattern. I went to sleep at 3-4 am then waked up at 10-11 am, if there's no schedule before that.

This kind of sleeping pattern is disruptive in many ways. First of all it's bad for your health, inducing hormonal imbalance and so on. Secondly it encourage bad habit of procrastination and inefficiency. Try this: you wake up at 11 am, need to find lunch, finished lunch by 1 or 2 pm, start working but feel sleepy very soon, take a nap at 4 pm, then wake up again at 6 pm, feeling sobered, must find something to eat and done with dinner by 7 pm, then it's TV time. You resume working at 10 pm, read and doing some recreational, then sleep at 4am.

Plus: when you need to wake up early, for example having morning meeting, then it would be a very difficult day because it's hard to get up and you feel sleepy all day.

In light of this I vow today to myself that I must change sleeping time. I will sleep by 10pm and wake up at 4 am. Six hours of sleep should suffice for my age. Waking up at 4 am should be alright because if I sleep late I would often wake up around this time anyway, and must try to get back to sleep. Now I suddenly have extra 6-hour morning time (4 am to 10 am) to read and work with full morning freshness and concentration. I have to sleep early and that should not be a major problem also because I don't have anything "official" to do in the night anyway, just procrastination and sporadic work-play period.

Another benefit is obviously on health. I understand and many hormones including growth hormone work best during 10 pm - 4 am, thus this is best sleeping period.

Changing sleeping time would drastically affect daily activities pattern. The most obvious one is that I now need breakfast around 7-8 am. This should be something easy to prepare but still give substantial food-mass like cereal with milk or American breakfast if time allows. I also would work in the morning. It should be after breakfast (8 am - 11 am) because right after wake up time should be dedicated to reading. After lunch I can resume work or take a nap, and after dinner then it would be recreational time like TV, music, or web browsing and blogging.

I will try and see if it works.

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I read all except one Haruki Murakami's books.

Murakami's novels and short stories have a particular effect on me: they made me feel lighter and better, especially if read when I was depressed. I don't know why, but the senses I got was the "flow", be it the flow of life that's unpretentious, or the life of protagonists who dutifully choose what to do and how to do things by themselves.

In his latest book, What I Talk About When I Talk About Running, Murakami talked about how running has profoundly affected writing and his life. After reading one third of the book, I was impressed and belated to find that the central theme of the first one third portion of this book is about how people do things best when they really want to do it by themselves. For many of us, schools and social norms forced us to walk on the "proper" ways for the whole life. So few did have luck and courage to manage to get over this predicament and start living on their own. I myself have known this and tried to get over it, fortunately succeed most of the time. I am lucky enough to be able to live on my own way, being able to choose what to do, what to eat, when to sleep, how to work, and so on.

This is a crucial representation of "freedom". In certain part of the world like where I am right now, many people misunderstood and view freedom negatively. When talking about freedom, they tend to think about irresponsible people and anarchy (not political anarchism), whereas it actually is a fundamental right of human being - that he must be able to pursue happiness on his own course, while of course doesn't do harm and infringe upon other people's right to do so.

Second point from Murakami, is that when you got that freedom, you need to use it wisely and carefully. When you grow past teenager, you need to have a plan for youself in order to live a meaningful life. You need to exercise your freedom, choose something to serve you - the owner of the freedom. Without an application of choices to life's coursing, freedom is meaningless, as does happiness and life.

Perhaps Murakami is the easiest philosopher to understand.

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After trying Windows 7 for a few weeks, I reinstalled Ubuntu.

Actually I've been using Ubuntu for several years, alternating with Windows. The reason why I still keep Windows is that I sometimes have to do graphic illustration with Adobe Illustrator and complicatedly-formatted documents with Microsoft Office. Other than that Ubuntu serves me just fine.

Let me say why open-source operating systems and software are much more appealing to most users. Firstly, you use it for free, both as in speech and as in beer. You have a peace of mind for not having to obligate yourself to use it just because you've paid for it. You can switch to other software anytime (no vendor locked-in) because open-source software embraces standards. You feel "lighter" and "freer", just like what this blog is all about!

Secondly, open-source software is easy to use. I find Ubuntu much more intuitive, user-friendly that Windows. It's customizable, fast, and resource-efficient. Even installation is a snap. I won't go into more details but just to tell you that I feel more "at home" just looking at Ubuntu's interface.

Thirdly, even if you miss many feature in proprietary software, have you ever sit back and think again whether you really want those features? These days many people are moving their working platform from desktop to web. I use Gmail which is webmail. Gmail task is a simple task manager I use everyday. Google Calendar, Google Docs, Flickr, Google Maps, blogging on wordpress and posterous and so on. Almost everything I do is on the web, not desktop evenvironment. So the only thing that I consider when choosing operating system is it's capability of doing things on web, which I believe Ubuntu (and other Linux distros) is no less than OSX or Windows.

If you want to have a look or try Ubuntu just go to ubuntu.com

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Just revamped my portal site - chitpong.com. The main purpose is to direct visitors to each of my sites: twitter, blogs, flickr, facebook, and so on.

The design philosophy is simple: make it dead simple, fast and accessible. The result is one-column, monotone site that should plays well with mobile browser, those with slow connection, those with disability, and those who rejects complicate sites structure normally found everywhere.

I think portal site is useful for those who have a lot of web applications and services, because it's very likely that your visitor won't know all of them.

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I have a blog named "Entangled", written in Thai. It's been setup about two years ago while I was just settled down with current career, and full with serious stuff that's been well articulated. Undeniably it's became more "professional" day-by-day, and I felt I started to lose the degree of freedom to blog whatever / whenever I want.

Hence "Untangled" which I particularly wish it to be free, informal, and devoid of political correctness. To obtain these it must be in English as, ironically but truly, to naturally filter access from some people who might be able to make a practical judgment of me. The blogging platform should also be very flexible and informal in terms of usability and functionality, hence Posterous is an ideal one because it allows me to post from email very easily (email is fast and can be used everywhere). I also like the idea of not having to organize my media and stuff uploaded.

Life is a matter of balance. Winding up when you're growing, is the entanglement with things surrounding you. Sometimes however, you need to sit back and reflex upon yourself. This is "untanglement", and this is what this blog is all about.

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